i worked as a telemarketer for a long while, back when i was too young to get a decent job anywhere else. telemarketing sucks, both for the person who's being annoyed during dinner or sex, and the person calling. if you work at a telemarketing firm, you spend eight hours a day on your ass, calling people all over the country to either sell something you wouldn't use yourself, or ask for money toward a cause you don't believe in. you repetitively piss off hundreds of thousands of people while they're in the middle of something entirely more important than talking to you. i could have flipped burgers instead, but telemarketing firms in this area pay their employees nearly $5 more an hour above minimum wage. what can i say, i whored myself out for a larger paycheck.
i've called a few people whose names i couldn't pronounce, but they all escape me at the moment. there was, however, this one woman whose name
doesn't escape me. her first name? i have no fucking clue. her last name?
kuntz.
the first thing that went through my head when her named popped up on my computer screen was, uhh... "
cunts." there was NO WAY i was going to pronounce her name that way. so this woman answers the phone,
"hello?" "hello, mrs., uhh, ...coontz?"
"no, ma'am, it's what you thought it was.""pardon?"
"it's what it looks like. go ahead and say it."this woman
knew i was a telemarketer, and thus governed by the FCC rules; and she was gonna make me say it. it wasn't really the FCC that bothered me, i mean, i had an excuse... it
was her name. what got me was the uncomfortable factor, and i think she knew that.
"mrs., uhmm...
cunts?" oh dear god.
the awkward factor for a teenage girl who had never used that word was off the fucking charts.
in my life, i've met a few people whose last names i would not care to have as my own. some of the more unfortunate ones? (some of them, you just have to say out loud to understand.)
slutsky. boyles. hyman. belcher. pribbernow. fuchs. whaley. butt. kockabich. dyke. bolenbaugh. balls. hairl. lipscomb. hamburger. neogra. getzhoff. bonar. schmuck. wanker. ...and i could come up with hundreds more if i went through my school or military yearbooks. i even have a few friends whose last names are not necessarily bad, but more along the lines of difficult.
wietrzykowski. omelyanenko. walentukonis. ...and yes, i can pronounce this name, although i have to add it to the list to be an asshole:
nguyen.shit, i hope none of my non-xanga friends read this post.

would you change your last name if it was something really shitty?